Why Do They Even Bother Turning Up
“Knock off Nigel, downloads knock off films”, apparently. I’m not quite sure where to start with this, they’ve got the whole thing so very very wrong it’s hard to beleive. Maybe a bulleted list can save the day:
- We are told that the sort of chap who downloads a filum ‘illegally’ is also a real creep, steals food from the fridge, and steals money from whip-rounds. The dude in the advert is wearing beige and has crap hair and is a bit of a wuss, he’d be too scared to steal money or sandwiches.
- The ad is set in an office. Anyone that works in an office knows that the guy who downhumps the films and puts them on CDs for the more idiotic vermin in the company is a minor celebrity and everyone likes him. One advert isn’t going to change everyone’s minds, as thankfully we’re not all sheep, just yet. Daily Mail readers are probably with you, though, they’re easily lead.
- The guy in the purple… what? It’s like he went to a casting audition for the 70s but got rejected for taking it too far. GTFO.
- They’re targeting the general office-working public it seems now, but as we’ve already proven above, they don’t care.
- My uncle Nigel probably doesn’t know how to download films.
- The whole thing’s just fucking pathetic.
There, my point proven. You can’t argue with bulleted lists, it’s a fact.
Then again, this ad is an improvement on the previous one in the series, which ran in cinemas, and actually had a nerd in an attic busting his gat to the ‘illegal’ film he’d downloaded. Yeah, bullying sweaty nerds always makes them stop being nerdy and doing nerdy things like downloading films! Oh, wait.
It’s not the first time they’ve ballsed it all up royally, either. Exhibit A, from cinemas (and possibly DVDs) from a whiles ago:
Likening downloading a filum to actual physical robbery of various kinds, that’s stretching it a bit. Yeah, sure, watching the thing without having paid a license for it is a crizime, but it’s hardly on the order of stealing a car, or some old bag’s handbag, or anything. Here is a vaguely amusing parody of the full version, as the full version is too lame for your eyes. Anyway the point is not really the message but the entirely retarded way they try to get the message across; a crazy font, shaking around, shaky camera angles and dramatic zooming, with the edgy deep soundtrack, as if this is actually going to appeal to… whoever their target audience is. Hackers on steroids on the internets, the ones distributing the filums, perhaps? Way off target, on that one. The Kids, who download them? Also going to be unimpressed with it. Daily Mail readers? They’d probably lap it up, but then they wouldn’t be downhumping stuff in the first place. You Are Doing It Wrong.
In the cinemas these days they have the ones trying to persuade you that all ‘illegal’ films are shit quality with no sound and fuzzy visuals. Well, maybe they are if you’re a retard, but for the most part it’s just as easy to locate a version taken from a screener, or some such other digital source, and have it perfectly good (so I’ve been told, officer).
Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, knock-off Nigel. pfft. MPAA is a motard.