Archive for December, 2009

3 Hey! Christians! Leave them kids alone!

posted on December 27th, 2009 by Steve in Serious Business

Irrelevant bygone bastion of closed-mindedness and unquestioning-loyalty-to-cosmic-Jewish-zombies-with-misplaced-sense-of-justice-and-who-have-fuck-all-understanding-of-the-meaning-of-the-word-’sacrifice’ “The Church of England” has decided to try and combat its irrelevance and… bygone-ness by forcing itself upon school kids and attempting to entice them into its insane doctrine.

Just what we need!

An article in Teh Grauniad (spotted thanks to D. Brown) has all the literally-frightening details. It fails to touch on something important, however, arising out of a quote from the CoE’s chief education officer:

We do not endorse high-pressure techniques, we would not endorse anything that places psychological pressure on someone. We would endorse ways of interesting children in the Christian faith and the Christian story.

If you translate that into Japanese and then back into English via one of those New Fangled Internet Translation Internets Websites, you’ll see that it actually says the following:

We know that what we are slanging is batshit insane. We know that if we actually educated children on the actual facts and contradictions they wouldn’t buy it, precisely as they’re not buying it at the minute. Thus, we will present to them a distanced, fluffier, altogether nicer version of things which they will like, to entice them in. Then, when there’s a vested psychological interest, it won’t matter if they learn the truth of the matter. The dawn of the second dark age is nigh!

That’s literally actually an actual fact. It really does come back out as that. Honest. Literally actually honest. Actually actually honest.

Second place on the Leaderboard Of Worryingness goes to something raised by this, one of the stated aspects of the campaign:

An information campaign to supply schools with materials to fulfil their legal duty to conduct a daily act of worship amid reports that many schools have dropped it.

A legally mandated daily act of worship in schools. Are we really still that backwards? Oh, yes, it seems we are. My bad.

I’m actually literally looking forward to the hot water and furore that trying to reinstate such practices in many of our multi-cultural schools will create. Perhaps it will lead to the realisation that such a law is outmoded and dangerous and will result in it being repealed? Actually I just remembered that single faith schools have become all the rage under Labour, so, perhaps I won’t hold my breath on that.

To close; I have religious friends, quite a few. Oftentimes thoroughly lovely sorts, and I don’t go out of my way to stuff anti-religious rants down their faces. That said, when it comes to publicly funded campaigns to trick kids, who can’t know any better, into buying into this stuff, I gots to say something.

0 Summer Is Coming!

posted on December 22nd, 2009 by Steve in E/N Bullshit

Obviously, it’s a while away yet, but, check this out: yesterday, 21st December, was officially the shortest day of the year. We’re through the deepest point of the trough and the curve only climbs upwards from here on out!

Days are getting longer!

Summer is coming!

This may well be the lamest post I’ve ever made but I’m literally overjoyed that we’re on the up-side so GTFO, guy!!!

0 How To Block Adverts In MSN/Live Messenger

posted on December 19th, 2009 by Steve in Serious Business

Ever since the ads at the footer of msn messenger’s main window started doing the shit “become really massive annoying fuckstains when you mouse over them” thing, they’ve been a bit too intrusive. Sure, stick adverts down there, be my guest, but when they suddenly jump out at you as you’re just going about your daily mouse cursor-based business, it’s all a bit much.

Today I decided enough was enough, and found how to block them:

  1. Go to Control Panel (from the Start Menu)
  2. Click on Internet Options
  3. Click into the Security tab, along the top
  4. Click the Restricted Sites icon
  5. Click the Sites button just below that
  6. Enter rad.msn.com in the box at the top*, click Add
  7. Click Close
  8. Click OK

Hoorah! Ads should now be gone*. May need to logout and back in to msn to clear out the current ad, mind.

*O hi again. If there are still ads coming through, try adding these in to the Restricted Sites too:

  • global.msads.net
  • rss.video.msn.com
  • ads1.msn.com
  • rad.live.com
  • specials.uk.msn.com

Information discovered on, and borrowed from, this place.

0 Retards: Easier To Find Than Ever Before

posted on December 13th, 2009 by Steve in Funny Things

If there’s one thing this global network of interconnected computer-connected network connections we lovingly call Teh Intarnets is good for, it’s giving retards ever-easier means of displaying their retardationedness to the world, and everyone else ever-easier means of being amused by them.

Why, you’re reading some words written by a retard right now!

But no, really. Just look at some of these. They were found on facebook and posted to Lamebook, a place where you can lose yourself in amusement for literally minutes:

Derp.

0 What’s Wrong With Blasphemy?

posted on December 12th, 2009 by Steve in General Awesome-ness

Stewart Lee knows, and if you watch the 6 clips below, you can find out too.

They’re worth watching through, for these reasons:

  1. Stewart Lee is amazingly hilarious
  2. They provide a nice rounded view of the subject matter, with good information
  3. See reason 1 but imagine it in bold AND italics AND underlined

0 Jeremy Clarkson talks about Peter Mandelson

posted on December 9th, 2009 by Steve in General Awesome-ness

So The Times published an article written by one Sir Mr Jeremy Clarkson Esq. concerning the corrupt madness surrounding Peter Mandelson.

I heard reports that the paper had taken the article down, but, as of right now, they haven’t, so fuck knows what that’s about. Probably some dickheads just trying to make it all seem even more anti-establishment.

Anyway, this isn’t just Clarkson going off on a typecast rant.

Well Worth Reading

2 Digitiser: A Lewd Old Tribute

posted on December 6th, 2009 by Steve in General Awesome-ness

So, apparently, The Teletext is being turned off for good sometime in the very very near future, and it’s been having a bit of a cry about how good the old days were. This is a pretty worthwhile exercise as the old days were amazing and very worth crying over. Or at least, the Digitiser parts of them were.

Sadly I don’t seem to have any TV signal aside from my virgin media cable, and that doesn’t carry The Teletext, because it is this thing: shit.

The Internet’s Mrakulon Funtacular to the rescue! He did take these:

Thanks, @mrakuss, love.