Meticulously Obscure

For The Record, I Did Not Force You To Look At This :)

But y’know, a couple cats requested it, so… And just for Cathy: progress pic!

John Wick

“John Wick is a hyper-stylised bullet opera where there’s very little substance but it’s awesome, probably go see it I guess?” – Steve Trevor, Wonder Woman’s boyfriend

Fast & Furious 7

Fast & Furious 7 marks quite a derparture for the series, insofar as it’s actually a biopic about a pervy cameraman who can’t stop pointing his cameramajig at “the ladies”. He’s pointing it at the ladies’ be-hinds, and their front-hinds, and pretty much every -hind you can imagine a lady might have. He’s travelling over…

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’71

’71, on the other hand, is flippin’ harrowing. Imogen Poots isn’t in it so it only gets 1.9 out of 2 nearly-identical-religious-denominations-that-nonetheless-spend-an-awful-lot-of-time-trying-to-kill-each-other.

Need For Speed

Need For Speed is the worst film I’m seen since Horrible Bosses 2, and it loses even more points for reminding me that I once sat through Hobbirle Bosses 2. Anyway in this film Breaking Bad Junior stars as a man who really really wants to launch a successful film career by watching Speed on…

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Big Hero 6

Big Hero 6 is real good. Like, real real good. I give it 6 badaladaladaladalaas out of 6 badaladaladaladalaas.

Ex Machina

Ex Machina is really great and it’s pure coincidence that I think this and that there’s a female computer in it. Pfft shut up. 64 out of 64 “bits”.

Foxcatcher

Foxcatcher; or, A Sexually Repressed Old Man Has A Bit Of A Fiddle With My Name Jeff And Only The Incredible Hulk Can Save The Day. It’s rather good.

The Unexpected Virtue Of Iñárritu

Or: A Post About Birdman With A Rather Pretentious Title Birdman, though not a film about a man who becomes an actual real half-man-half-budgie as I was hoping it would be, is nonetheless pretty magnificent, and as Edwyn Collins once sang, I’ve never known (seen) a girl (film) like you (this: Birdman) before. First pretty…

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A Clockwork Orange

If you’re after a period of time to have existed in that was really long, drawn out, and annoying, at least going on its cinematic output, then based on A Clockwork Orange I can highly recommend giving the non-space-decade the ’70s a visit. You’ll be amazed at just how weird-for-the-sake-of-it and obtuse everything is! Sure…

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