Meticulously Obscure

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The Thought Police Are Here!

Well, they might be if a team of Japanese scientists’ claims are to be believed (and exagerated (rather a lot)). They’ve managed to reconstruct images a person was looking at, by analysing their brain activity. Spook! To do this, they hooked up a functional magnetic resonance imaging machine to some people’s heads, showed them a…

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Or: The Day Keanu Reeves Acted Woodenly But This Time It Was In Character (Because He Was An Alien)

Ok so against popular opinion (and the often accurate portent of it only being advertised a matter of weeks before release) I decided it might be a good idea to go and see the remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still. Was it the right decision? Only time (and some SPOILERS) will tell! Firstly,…

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Get Festive Motherfuckers!

If you hadn’t noticed, it’s christmas*, so get your festive on right now or there’ll be trouble. As you probably haven’t noticed, this very blogotron has a new christmasy (christmassy?) title up there: look at it. So: get with the program! Be a commentard and tell me what you’ve done to get into the spirit….

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The Demolition Man Prophecy

It’s been a long held (and not even slightly ironic) position of mine that Demolition Man is not just the greatest film ever made, but also a glimpse into our future. Arnold Schwarzenegger becoming president of the USA, fast food joints having a big war, sewers that smell like biscuits and gravy, and getting to…

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Jacques Cousteau’s Amazing Discovery

In the early 1940s a French man named Jacques Cousteau invented going into the water, in a daring move which at the time was proclaimed ‘batshit stupid’ by many in academia. Since the dawn of time mankind had lived in fear of water, believing it to be some form of evil, highly toxic acid, but…

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Are Things Going To Start Getting Better Soon?

Or have we not yet plumbed fully the depths of retardation possible in modern society? See here: a woman facing potentially 5 years in prison and a $5,000 fine for deleting her ‘online husband’s character in 2D RPG-me-do Maple Story (kind of like WoW’s retarded cousin (a very uneducated guess (like you (I) care))). Having…

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Cat Apocalypse – A New Hope

News reaches us today of a small ray of hope, as a brave resistance fighter has been discovered who is already making preparations for the coming Cat uprising, and surely striking fear into their stupid evil Cat hearts. He has devised a highly effective weapon and captured footage of its use on some sort of…

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Cat Apocalypse – New Evidence

You may (or more likely, may not) be aware that for a long time now Cats have been planning to overthrow us Humans and take over the World. It’s readily apparent from their general disregard of us that they assume themselves to be superior, only coming to say ‘o hi’ when they want something to…

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Profit – A Bluffers Guide

Be at McDonalds with your mate while his parking ticket expires Screw rushing back, you’re both enjoying your cancerburgers Have a bet on whether he’ll have a ticket or not If you lose, and he has a ticket, you pay the ticket, £30 If you win, and there’s no ticket, your mate pays you the…

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Steve/Sven/Dickhead

Seems the venerable Mr. Love has a name he doesn’t like to publicise much Get the latest Flash Player to see this player. [Javascript required to view Flash movie, please turn it on and refresh this page]

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