Meticulously Obscure

Her

Whack Him Phoenix in Spike Jonze’s 2013 film “Her” is just magnificent and now I think I’m going to have to go have a bit of a cry for about a week. It’s a film about a sad man who loves his computer so obviously it resonates with me a lot HURR DURR; rating: 9…

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The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Hobbitses 3: Hobbit On Up The Khyber – has everything you could possibly ever want in a film, as long as that’s just a lot of fighting and a bit of soppy crying and the worst digital actors since Blade 2 and a fair helping of Evangeline Lily’s glorious cheekbones. I give it the height…

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The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Hobbitses two: not sure why everyone keeps talking about Paul Oakenfold but it’s very good nonetheless: I give it eight out of 10 short Scottish actors

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Hobbitses part one: songs are weird but it’s great: 9 out of ten stupid hobbitses

Paddington

Dude! Go and watch Paddington. Even if you’re so gangster you have a street name; go watch Paddington. It is ace.

Horrible Bosses 2

The film is actually part of the new Star Trek reboot series so I don’t know why that’s not reflected in the title. It plays out like one of those comedy episodes of TNG, which is a bold move (but there are ZERO tribbles – big mistake!!!); Captain Kirk beams down to the surface of…

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The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1

Hungry Games Part 3 Part 1 review: a girl in it has a side shave. 10/10

Fury

Fury is brutal and very very good

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Hunger Games 2: Hungrier Games Basically it’s the same as the first but Philip Seymour Hoffman steals the show like he always did rip in peace sweet prince

The Imitation Game

The Imitation Game really is very, very good indeed

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