So Long, 2008
So the Space Year 2008 is finally almost dead and buried, and with just under 24 hours of its measly life left to live before its corpse starts to rot and stink up the place, now’s a pretty good time for a bit of a backwards glance, a look back over the past 12 months to remind ourselves of what went on, because that’s a swell thing to do, apparently.
So here we go.
Blah blah Barack Obama blah blah credit crunch yadda yadda Russell Brand blah de blah petrol prices rabble rabble rabble Georgia blah Russia blah de blah de blah OJ Simpson rabble rabble knife crime yadda yadda Olympics blah blah I’M A JOURNALIST blah yadda de blah yadda-blah Boris Johnson blah blah Anonymous rabble Scientology blah de blah Woolworths rabble rabble Max Mosely blah yadda blah rabble writers strike blah blah bumph.
How did we even cram it all in?! Of course, the most important thing amidst all this is that the year we’re bidding a not-so-fond farewell to was great for an altogether different reason: rhyme-me-do!
If over the course of the last 12 months you happened to arrive somewhere a little after you should’ve, you could’ve said “Sorry I’m a bit two-thousand-and-late!” and received rapturous applause and an instant pardon. Taking up aerobics as a new years resolution? “I’m going to get in shape in two-thousand-and-gyrate!”. Emphatically beat people at a videogame? “Welcome to two-thousand-and-devestate, bitches!”. Discussing Richard Nixon’s scandellous administration? “two-thousand-and-watergate”. I comically enjoyed terming the whole year two-thousand-and-delegate, due to the build up of Team Super Excellent at the workplace. All these and many, many more verb-ending-in-something-that-rhymes-with-8-based puns were made available, with pretty much zero effort, and maximum impact. Certainly a reason to two-thousand-and-celebrate.
But what do we do now? Is 2009 going to be similarly rhyme-pun-infused? I doubt it!
If you’re looking to take up wine drinking as a serious activity, you’re in luck, and I guess you could always say “Gee the weather is rather two-thousand-and-fine today!” if you so desired, although it’s pretty shit, and if there’s any justice in the world, would result in a swift decking. I can’t even think of any others (quite possibly because if I could, this entire post would have no point).
Lament, people, for we have lost a good one. RIP in peace two-thousand-and-great.