Meticulously Obscure

3

Hey! Christians! Leave them kids alone!

Irrelevant bygone bastion of closed-mindedness and unquestioning-loyalty-to-cosmic-Jewish-zombies-with-misplaced-sense-of-justice-and-who-have-fuck-all-understanding-of-the-meaning-of-the-word-‘sacrifice’ “The Church of England” has decided to try and combat its irrelevance and… bygone-ness by forcing itself upon school kids and attempting to entice them into its insane doctrine.

Just what we need!

An article in Teh Grauniad (spotted thanks to D. Brown) has all the literally-frightening details. It fails to touch on something important, however, arising out of a quote from the CoE’s chief education officer:

We do not endorse high-pressure techniques, we would not endorse anything that places psychological pressure on someone. We would endorse ways of interesting children in the Christian faith and the Christian story.

If you translate that into Japanese and then back into English via one of those New Fangled Internet Translation Internets Websites, you’ll see that it actually says the following:

We know that what we are slanging is batshit insane. We know that if we actually educated children on the actual facts and contradictions they wouldn’t buy it, precisely as they’re not buying it at the minute. Thus, we will present to them a distanced, fluffier, altogether nicer version of things which they will like, to entice them in. Then, when there’s a vested psychological interest, it won’t matter if they learn the truth of the matter. The dawn of the second dark age is nigh!

That’s literally actually an actual fact. It really does come back out as that. Honest. Literally actually honest. Actually actually honest.

Second place on the Leaderboard Of Worryingness goes to something raised by this, one of the stated aspects of the campaign:

An information campaign to supply schools with materials to fulfil their legal duty to conduct a daily act of worship amid reports that many schools have dropped it.

A legally mandated daily act of worship in schools. Are we really still that backwards? Oh, yes, it seems we are. My bad.

I’m actually literally looking forward to the hot water and furore that trying to reinstate such practices in many of our multi-cultural schools will create. Perhaps it will lead to the realisation that such a law is outmoded and dangerous and will result in it being repealed? Actually I just remembered that single faith schools have become all the rage under Labour, so, perhaps I won’t hold my breath on that.

To close; I have religious friends, quite a few. Oftentimes thoroughly lovely sorts, and I don’t go out of my way to stuff anti-religious rants down their faces. That said, when it comes to publicly funded campaigns to trick kids, who can’t know any better, into buying into this stuff, I gots to say something.

Steve • 27th December 2009


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Comments

  1. waylander 5th January 2010 - 1:09

    hey update this status with ponies or something!

  2. Steve 5th January 2010 - 8:29

    Status?!

  3. Neal to the xs 24th January 2010 - 20:05

    ‘YOUR’ GOING TO HELL LOLZ!!!!!!111one

    Interesting….mixing faith and state has always been a mistake. As for the C of E, you’re hatred and assumptions may be getting the worse of you a little, but I understand the look of it. I’ve got as much baggage with church than anyone, hence not going to church properly for 5 years…and I’ve worked for one and have a theolgy degree. Go figure.

    ‘Be excellent to one another’.

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