Pacific Rim: Uprising manages to surpass its precursor in all the ways that are not the ways that would’ve been a good thing if it was those ways that it… did surpass… it… in? Glue nice words together make sentence be good.

“Oh good I’m so glad Scott Eastwood isn’t in Pacific Rim hehe yay” I distinctly remember hearing you say, 5 years ago – yeah well he’s in this one so brace for being specifically less than “so” glad. Probably even un-glad, which is a real thing.

“I really love how every non-action scene in Pacific Rim is cheesy and terrible, because it is Opposite Day, so when I say ‘love’ I mean ‘do not love’ hehe yay” you wrote me in a letter 5 years ago, rather old fashionedly and oddly expositionally – well you’d better wait until Opposite Day again before having a little peek at the sequel because there’s more terrible cheese in it than a T-rex made entirely of edam.

The robots look nice, and the action’s well shot, but… bleh. It could’ve been so much more interesting than it is, which is this interesting: 2.

I rate it a Category 2 Kaiju on the Serizawa scale which only goes up to 5 so that’s not a very good rating and thus my DVD of it will probably be donated to charity aka left in the lobby area of my block of flats for any neighbours/vagrants that might want it.

Actually it does feature a snippet of DJ Shadow’s track Nobody Speak, that he did with Run The Jewels, so y’know it’ll remind you that that track exists and that its video exists and then you’ll go watch the video and have a good time so that’s a little bonus.

I’m going to watch Thor: Ragnarok now. Ok bye then.