Sir. Sir! How do you like your class struggle metaphors, sir? Thinly veiled and cheap like a terrible post-Matrix Christian Bale-led action movie? Deeply confusing and kinda repulsive but-you-suspect-there-was-something-of-value-there like listening to Slavoj Zizek speak for 10 seconds? Or subtly toasted over a warm bonfire in the grounds of an old-money country estate with some delightful gory violence amongst friends?

If the latter’s your preference then you should definitely have a little think about going to see the new moviefilm Ready Or Not, starring a blonde twig and some other people, which does a remarkable job of being a flippin’ delightful suspense-y-thriller-y-horror-y jaunt while carrying a message but keeping its shit to itself.

I literally defy you not to get a dose of the shivers at least numerous times throughout the film, as said blonde twig’s despair resonates through your bones. Or something pretentious sounding like that, anyway; I dunno, I’ve had a few beers and a pizza, what do I know?

Ready Or Not is flippin’ great and I rate it [a big number of seconds] out of a 100-second countdown.